Monday, January 11, 2010

The Beginning

Recipes to Save a Marriage By. This title came to me several years ago when I first began to realize dinners at home were saving my life, and saving our relationship. In the fall of 2005 my partner Craig and I received the news that our tiny baby girl had severe epilepsy, as well as microcephaly.

The table has always been central to our relationship. Like many couples, we fell in love eating together, and eating in New York City, what a joy: scrambled eggs and toast at Le Gamin, Huevos Rancheros at Shopsin's, Steak au Poivre at La Luncheonette, Ginger Scallion Lo Mein at Noodle Town, Flounder and Tempura at Omen, Panna Cotta all' Aceto Balsmico at Il Buco.

After our daughter was born and we realized her health problems, we poured all our resources into her care, and eating at home became a necessity. I, while incredibly stressed by new motherhood and the intense worry about Colby, was happy to be eating home, at our tiny table, in our tiny kitchen, in our tiny apartment. For Craig is the most astonishing cook.

These are not recipes to save a marriage. There are no magic spells or even many metaphors. Rather, these are the recipes, the food we are eating and cooking while we work to save our marriage. Save sounds dire, and some days it is. The stress in our house when Colby is not well shatters our patience and our hope. Some days we need saving, and we do that, in part, by sitting down together, eating and talking. Other days our time at the table at the end of the day with our two darling girls is the place that we thrive. We talk about the successes of our day, the beautiful things we noticed. The table is where we savor the good and peaceful moments.

9 comments:

  1. Beautiful start Vene, I get chills just thinking about all the people you are going to inspire, touch, comfort and make very hungry! I love you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. John has also always cherished family time at the dinner table. I hope we can get together soon with all the girls to share some yummy food and certainly lots of laughs. We miss you! xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. ...had to get the Kleenex. Beautiful, sistah.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are already inspiring me Elivna with just two posts! We rarely cook together anymore and more often than not order-in out of sheer exhaustion. I hope to change this. I think your blog is going to help me find my way back to the table! Thinking of you, Li

    ReplyDelete
  5. I read your blog aloud to Jared as he put together some root vegetables with some rosemary from the garden (and prepped my lunch--thanks honey). I'm hoping Jared can learn some new recipes from Craig! Touching, authentic writing. Love to you.~S

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. As always, your writing is beautiful and poignant, funny and lyrical, Elvina. Thanks for offering another window onto the table of your life with Craig and the girls. I have a feeling you may wind up with more "followers" than you ever imagined. Mazel tov, my dear, and love to all!

    ReplyDelete
  8. So lovely. Thinking of you especially at this moment.

    ReplyDelete
  9. A friend of a friend sent me to your blog (Abby, a friend of Dev). I too, have a sick kid and an obsession with food and cooking and a blog. I'm excited to dig in to your blog!
    -Jaime

    ReplyDelete